BREAKING NEWS: Polarizing Figure, John the Baptist, Arrested

BREAKING NEWS: John, known as the Baptizer – arrested.

Zion Post,

Hezron Bar-Azar reporting.

The Zion Post just received confirmation that king Herod has arrested John the Baptist. Of late, John grew quite vocal in his opposition of King Herod, who took his brother Philip’s wife as his own. John emphatically asserted that such an action is in direct violation of the Law.

John had stated very publicly and on numerous occasions to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have her.”

John has long been known for his austere manner of life and radical calls to repentance. For a number of years he has drawn large crowds to the wilderness of Judea. There, in what has become a hallmark of his ministry, he baptized thousands in the river Jordan while they confessed their sins.

Some assert that he had already then begun to alienate important segments of society, such as the Pharisees and Sadducees. It is reported that he called them a “brood of vipers,” and inquired of them, “who warned you to flee the wrath to come?” These and other actions have contributed to growing concerns on the part of the religious leaders and some government officials that John was encouraging polarization among the people. His mixing of religion and politics has been denounced on numerous occasions.

John has also been a known affiliate and supporter of another controversial figure, Jesus called the Christ.

The Zion Post reached out to king Herod for a comment and received this reply from his public relations department, “It is unfortunate that John has chosen to use his public influence in such a subversive manner as to disparage and denigrate king Herod and his wife Herodias. Herod’s commitment to the good order of society and the well-being of his people were the leading factors in his difficult decision to have John arrested. John’s choice to politicize and weaponize the king’s personal life for his own agenda and radicalized message is a threat to the stability of the state. King Herod is a frequent attendee at the Temple and holds his religious beliefs dear. John’s growing and persistent criticism and personal attacks on the king could no longer be disregarded. John evidently has a problem with authority and is encouraging rebellion. Herod made the hard choice to incarcerate John in the hopes of curbing religious fundamentalism and social disorder. King Herod is for full tolerance of people to act on their faith in ways that do not cross the line into politics.”

Although the arrest of John the Baptist has created quite a stir among the common people, the Pharisees, Sadducess and other religious leaders consider it for the best.

An expert in the Law, Abuid, has given this statement on behalf of the religious leaders, “It is very unfortunate that John has chosen to politicize morality, but what can one expect from an unlettered zealot. The Sanhedrin fully supports king Herod and his measures to preserve good order in society. John has been a divisive figure for a number of years now and his actions do not reflect the inclusivity that our religion embodies. Whenever religious beliefs and morals are weaponized and deployed as tools in political warfare, it is very unbefitting. John’s harsh words and judgmental actions will only serve to alienate people. We should not be focusing on what separates but rather promoting that which will bring people together. We should spend more time building bridges rather than pointing out walls. The goal of our religion is not to tear people down but to help them discover their true selves. The narrow moral parameters of John’s limited view should in no way be applied to everyone. It is not the purpose of religion to influence politics. John would do better to focus on his own self and the areas wherein he could improve, rather than attempting to make a greater name for himself at the expense of our benevolent king Herod. The Sanhedrin condemns the public theatrics and harsh moralism of John and his intrusion into matters of state leaders.”

The Sanhedrin has acknowledged that it is concerned about the rise of religious radicalism and fundamentalism. These issues could contribute to social and religious destabilization. The leaders of the Sanhedrin say that such a state could elicit further Roman intervention, which could ultimately lead to a loss of the nation and place. “Sometimes a few people have to pay a price so that peace and well-being can be preserved for everyone else,” Mr. Abuid stated. “If you don’t want to be arrested then don’t try to play the moral hero.”

Most are confidant that king Herod will have John tried in a very just manner. The Sanhedrin encourages, “the people to have full trust in their king; that he is just and will deal with John in a most lawful manner.” It further encourages people to come together over those things that unite and to not let this matter and other issues be sources of division and disharmony.

The trail date for John has yet to be announced.

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9 thoughts on “BREAKING NEWS: Polarizing Figure, John the Baptist, Arrested

  1. Savvas

    This is HILARIOUS! Love it! Oh, how INSANE it would be if our current politicians and “professional” liberal rhetoricians who manipulate and hijack language lived back in those days…

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. Maxim

    How fortunate were the tyrants of yesteryear, who didn’t have to worry about publicity; our modern-day tyrants are forced to humiliate themselves by producing meaningless, equivocating public statements. Not for much longer, I deem.

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  4. Maxim

    In vain do people strive to separate religion and politics, as any issue which becomes controversial becomes political. When the teachings of a religious body contradict the prevailing mores of society starkly enough, then these teachings become political; those who say “We must not combine religion and politics” are simply saying that we must throw down our weapons as soon as the enemy appears on the far horizon. Those who say religious groups should not organize to promote candidates who support their values and their right to hold to their teachings are just trying to deprive religious people of any voice in society.

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    1. Fr. Daniel

      Indeed, if you read and study the Declaration of Independence the King was trying to stop We the People from gathering and working it out. Reading recently a copy of the DoI I can across a quote from George Washington basically stating flatly that without religion and morality there can be no basis for freedom.

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      1. Maxim

        Aristotle also indicated that there are those fit to be free, and those fit only to be slaves. The tragedy of Democracy is that it is manipulable to those who hold financial power. Because political power is in the hands of the people, it is then necessary to the holders of power to assault the character of the people, so that they will become governable. From there, the whole history of the 20th century unfolds pretty much automatically, as powers in the state strive to turn a free people into the race of slaves we have today.

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