BREAKING NEWS! Paradise Lost News. EXCLUSIVE! Paradise Lost News has obtained exclusive access to the transcript of the first ecumenical dialogue of love, as it has been called, that is taking place this day in Eden itself. The transcript contains the address of Lucifer, leader of the fallen angels, to the relatively new creation of …
Category: Breaking News
BREAKING NEWS: Polarizing Figure, John the Baptist, Arrested
BREAKING NEWS: John, known as the Baptizer - arrested. Zion Post, Hezron Bar-Azar reporting. The Zion Post just received confirmation that king Herod has arrested John the Baptist. Of late, John grew quite vocal in his opposition of King Herod, who took his brother Philip's wife as his own. John emphatically asserted that such an …
Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: Polarizing Figure, John the Baptist, Arrested
Announcement: Fearmongering Portions of Bible Must be Removed for the Well-being of Humanity
A new announcement from the Council for Religious Unity, Fraternity, and Serenity in Social Affairs (CRUFSSA). In previous announcements CRUFSSA found it best for the well-being of humanity to offer a New Revised and Redacted version of Scripture. It has also issued hymns which the Council still recommends for use in all its societies. As …
BREAKING NEWS: Local Christian Man Defies the Emperor’s Law and Smashes Statues of Deities
Thracian Times. Severius Mendax, reporting. Yesterday, on July 17th, 362, the Thracian town of Dorostolon was honored with a visit from representatives of our great Emperor Julian. The goal of the visit was to ensure the Emperor's civil orders that outlaw the troublesome Christian sect are being implemented. Dorostolon was initially found to be in …
A New Announcement from the Council for Religious Unity, Fraternity, and Serenity in Social Affairs: Concerning Old and New Imagery of Jesus
An update from the Council for Religious Unity, Fraternity, and Serenity in Social Affairs. Regarding religious imagery. The Coronavirus crisis presents a unique opportunity to evolve in our understanding of God. Our former ignorance may be shed as we progress to a more humane understanding of God. We are confronted with a chance to reshape …
BREAKING NEWS: Religious Fanatics, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, Arrested for Defying Imperial Decree.
The Chaldean Post. Meldec Gidish reporting. Now former government officials and Hebrew immigrants, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, blatantly defy a direct order from King Nebuchadnezzar himself. King Nebuchadnezzar, in an attempt to further encourage unity within the country, commanded that a symbol of national solidarity be built on the plains of Dura. This grand national …
ALL HAIL! A New Hymn from the Council for Religious Unity, Fraternity, and Serenity in Social Affairs.
A proclamation from the Council for Religious Unity, Fraternity, and Serenity in Social Affairs. In an ongoing effort to promote love and well-being among the people, the Council has released an approved hymn that it commands to be used by all comrades gathered for Religious assemblies within our blessed Federation. All hail the blessed Government, …
BREAKING NEWS: Local Extremist, Noah, Continues to Propagate Conspiracy Theory of Global Flood
Greater Tiber-Euphrates River Valley News Agency (GTERV News). Irad Mildesh reporting. Local experts are calling for further investigation and action against local Extremist and Conspiracy Theorist, Noah, as he continues to propagate his questionable ideas. Noah's message, which he claims is from God, is found to be discouraging and depressing by most of his neighbors …
The Inkless Pen 