A new announcement from the Council for Religious Unity, Fraternity, and Serenity in Social Affairs (CRUFSSA).

In previous announcements CRUFSSA found it best for the well-being of humanity to offer a New Revised and Redacted version of Scripture. It has also issued hymns which the Council still recommends for use in all its societies.

As the Council diligently monitors the developments in events and situations which touch upon the wholeness and well-being of humanity, in an interest to preserve spiritual and physical equilibrium, it, in a view to promote and encourage the familial ties of all humanity, is at times confronted with difficult resolves. Such resolves are only entered upon for the welfare of our race.

Through much deliberation the Council has deemed it necessary for the mental health and safety of all to further redact the Scriptures.

Our extremely qualified team of experts has determined that certain sections of the New Testament cause physiological and mental anxiety. The sections in question often cause what the Council has deemed to be unhealthy speculations with regard to the end of earthly life and the supposed return of Jesus Christ. It is greatly distressing that people be distracted and disquieted by concepts such as the “end of all things.” This inhibits and misdirects the positive energies of humanity. The negativity which is manifest in the Scriptures at times has been assessed by the Council to be a toxic distraction to the committed focus of building societies that are equitable and inclusive for all.

Thus, in a continued revision and redaction of Scripture, the Council decrees that the following sections of be completely removed for the greater good of humanity.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 – 5:11. This passages encourages people to consider the “times and seasons” which is a distraction from the greater need of simply being a good person on earth. It also gives the impression that there is a greater hope than the physical well-being of the body, as it speaks about a resurrection.

2 Thessalonian 2:1-15. This passage is extremely disturbing as it calls people to be on guard against a supposed “apostasy” which will be led by “the man of sin.” Alas, if we could, we would council Paul to stop spending so much time on empty speculations about such things. He is only sowing fear. He should rather encourage brotherly comradeship. The Council desires all to live carefree lives, free of manipulative fears of impending “ends.”

1 Timothy 4:1-7 and 2 Timothy 3:1-9. Such passages encourage a preoccupation with worldly actions. They offer nothing of the joy and hopefulness of earthly blessedness. People should not be vexed with disturbing thoughts about a purported “last times” “troubled times” and people who work evil. It betrays a deep seeded suspicion to make claims that certain people would be working for the destruction of their fellow humans. Such obsession with darkness is not befitting of Paul.

With regret our team of theological experts has even revealed fear-mongering in the writings of the apostle Peter. Thus, 2 Peter 3:1-13 is to be removed. The potential psychological affliction that could be caused to people when told that the Lord will come as a thief in the night and that the earth and all its works will be burned up, is very insensitive and goes against the spirit of peace and fraternity that this Council is committed to promoting.

With even greater shock the Council has identified that even the apostle who has been called the “apostle of love” engages in propagating sensational ideas about the last times and the Antichrist. We therefore decree that 1 John 2:18-23, 4:1-6 be purged from the Scripture. The emotional stress that may be caused by calling people to be watchful and discern the spirits is, in the opinion of the Council, contrary to love. 2 John vv 7-11 must need be removed also. The very thought that there may be people out to deceive others, as indicated in Paul’s writings also, is but base speculation worthy only of obsessed conspiracy theorists. It is completely devoid of the needed spirit of tolerance.

The Council recommends the complete removal of the book of Jude. Such writings encourage mutual distrust among people, it facilitates suspicion and skepticism.

The Council must insist upon the complete removal of the book of Revelation also called the Apocalypse. At current there is not sufficient space in this announcement to elaborate upon the terrible fear-mongering and hopelessness which is often conveyed in this book. This book’s mania for malevolent agendas to destroy humanity is very unbefitting. It is vital for all to understand, you must not be concerned about Antichrist or antichrist spirits. Such things are only distractions from fulfilling our vocation of mutual love, fraternity, and well-being.

With the greatest regret the Council has even found error in the words of Jesus. Sadly, he too engages in addressing the sensationalistic theme of the end of time, he even counseled people, contrary to the advice of this Council, to “know the signs of the times.”

Thus the following sections should be removed and not read by people so that they do not engage in vain contemplation about the return of Jesus and the end of all things. Matthew 10:16-42, 24:1- 25:46; Mark 13:1-37; Luke 21:5-36. The Council cannot endorse the mental manipulation utilized by Jesus in these passages, unduly teaching his followers to obsess about events that are totally outside of their control. Such instructions can only lead to mental perplexity and harm. How could Jesus even dare to asks his followers to “be watchful at all the time, praying that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will happen, and to stand before the Son of Man.” Such instruction will only encourage fanatical and extreme preoccupation with topics that do not engender the mutual well-being and fraternity of all.

People should not be encouraged to attempt to know the signs of their times, for the only thing that we must pursue is love. This Council encourages people to focus on real things, things that we all can effect, such as the mutual care and concern for the physical well-being and prosperity of all. The above listed passages from the Scriptures only distract people from engaging in a meaningful and positive manner the world around them.

The above lists may be elaborated upon in the future as the Council reviews other potentially negative areas in the Scriptures.

Let all understand that it is only with great difficulty that the Council has come to the unavoidable decision to remove the above listed sections. Yet, the Council is only motivated by a overwhelming concern and love for the mental and psychological health and stability of humanity. It does not want that anyone be distressed in anyway about fantastic ideas such as, apostasy, deception, the ultimate end of the world, and the return of Jesus Christ.

Therefore, please, all who read this – disregard the teaching in the Scripture to be watchful and discerning of the times and seasons. There is no cause for concern at all, just enjoy your life and attempt to avoid at all costs any ideas that may be disturbing to you. Remember God loves you and only wants you to be happy and without a care. We indeed live in the best of all possible worlds. Together by rejecting negativity and extremism we can continue to build a world that will be paradise.

(The “Council for Religious Unity, Fraternity, and Serenity in Social Affairs” is a completely fictional entity)